Tag Archives: funny

Word Challenge (Insult, Flea)

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“It is but a flea in a haystack of manure” Tommy exclaimed. “Am I to rend all the speckles from your silverware too?”

“Yes” remarked Matilde with a slight haught and raised chin.  “And despeckle the grainy bits from the photo collection afterwards. I expect the highest diligence from you without grievances. Do I make myself clear?”

“Grievances?!” yelped Tommy and turning red from the insult. “I’ll have you know you’ll be getting more grievances than diligence by the time I’m done!”

…………..
30 years later and ongoing

“Eeek! There’s a bug in my soup Tom. Get it out! Get out!”

***click***

“This one’s for the permanent collections :)”

The Leap!

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Entry to this week’s Sunday Flash Fiction! Had some fun with this one 😉

“And there I was, munching on some long-greens by old Benny’s fence when I saw her. Iggy Longhorn… the most beautiful lass ever to set hoof on these grassy plains. Jerry who saw the whole thing can attest to that.”

“Amen.”

“Anyways. Convention dictates that I greet her proper, usually at some gathering by the waterhole near family. Those channels were unavailable given the circumstances.”

“What happened next Jack?”

“Well after initial shock wore off, I realized that she’d been running. Behind her, Looney’s lionesses, about six of them, had been in hot-pursuit, taunting and trying to nip at her tail.”

“Unbelievable! To think that Looney’s crew had the gall to harass Miss Longhorn, especially on our lands!”

“Well not exactly. Iggy had accidentally wandered into the open territories and tried to find a way back. She was on the OTHER side of old Benny’s fence when I first saw her.”

“Gasp… Is Miss Longhorn ok? Did she get hurt? What did you do?”

“Instincts took over and I backed up maybe twenty or thirty feet.”

“Did you run and get help?”

“Even better. I charged and LEPT as far and high as I could right on-over old Benny’s fence. Must have scared the Savannah out of those cats cause they high-tailed it right-on out of there. Then I escorted Iggy back to her family and we’ve been together since!”

Miss Longhorn who had been eavesdropping the whole time silently crept up from behind.

In a booming voice, she announced “funny you should mention THIS story Jack!” before biting his tail, causing him to leap five-feet up into the air. “Looks like you could of made it back WITHOUT my help!”

The River Crossing

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Entry to this week’s Sunday Photo Fictioner!

Timmy planted his feet firmly in the sand. A warm wind swept through his feathers, coaxing him to jump. Yet, his body remained too paralyzed to move.

“Let’s go Timmy! The water’s great!” cajoled his siblings. “There’s plenty of fish across this river!”

But despite the convincing, Timmy always had trouble taking the first steps. New places, foreign foods, and other flocks scared him. A hundred “what if” questions would be raised that needed answering before any progress could be made.

“What if alligators from the Zoo escaped and were holding-out beyond the next bend?”
“What if those snapping turtles from that one time by the Duck pond followed us here? They were on our turf!”
“What if hunters spot us in the middle of the river, all lined up in row while making the crossing? We’d be sitting ducks!”
“What if…”

The questioning continued for another hour before thoroughly satisfying Timmy. He hopped into the water and the pod swam to the opposite shore without incident.

“See that wasn’t so bad Timmy?” quipped one his sisters. “We made it across in all one piece.”

“Yes…” replied Timmy. “But what if we left something behind?”