Tag Archives: humor



Entry to this week’s 3LineTales! Image courtesy of Sonya.

One step forwards, two steps back. Do a one-eighty, trip on a crack.

The dead-ends frown, they forbid en mass. Rocks and hard places, litter the past.

But what to do? No way around. Lest fire he thought. Will fly like sound!


Red as an Apple


Entry to this week’s 3LineTales! Image courtesy of Sonya.

Sunrise to sundown, the young tractor tilled. Cabbage, carrot, and onion, the seeds he filled.

Yet summer turned fall and no produce grew. Reap and sow! Hollered from his pew.

Till a neighbor checked, seed labels and all. “Biennial” it read, in letters not scrawl. “Least they weren’t apples” 🙂

The Casket


Entry to this week’s Friday Fictioners! Image courtesy of Al Forbes

“The funeral procession starts tomorrow and you’re driving this?!”

“I’m placing John in the back-seat and taking the front wheel.”

“Don’t you think the chassis is a bit… gaudy?”

“It’s vintage and I think quite fitting to his instructions.”

“He did say that he wanted to be buried in style; I took it to mean well-dressed. Did you ensure an open-casket?”

“Open-casket? The entire automobile is the casket. He asked to be buried with style!”

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The Leap!


Entry to this week’s Sunday Flash Fiction! Had some fun with this one 😉

“And there I was, munching on some long-greens by old Benny’s fence when I saw her. Iggy Longhorn… the most beautiful lass ever to set hoof on these grassy plains. Jerry who saw the whole thing can attest to that.”


“Anyways. Convention dictates that I greet her proper, usually at some gathering by the waterhole near family. Those channels were unavailable given the circumstances.”

“What happened next Jack?”

“Well after initial shock wore off, I realized that she’d been running. Behind her, Looney’s lionesses, about six of them, had been in hot-pursuit, taunting and trying to nip at her tail.”

“Unbelievable! To think that Looney’s crew had the gall to harass Miss Longhorn, especially on our lands!”

“Well not exactly. Iggy had accidentally wandered into the open territories and tried to find a way back. She was on the OTHER side of old Benny’s fence when I first saw her.”

“Gasp… Is Miss Longhorn ok? Did she get hurt? What did you do?”

“Instincts took over and I backed up maybe twenty or thirty feet.”

“Did you run and get help?”

“Even better. I charged and LEPT as far and high as I could right on-over old Benny’s fence. Must have scared the Savannah out of those cats cause they high-tailed it right-on out of there. Then I escorted Iggy back to her family and we’ve been together since!”

Miss Longhorn who had been eavesdropping the whole time silently crept up from behind.

In a booming voice, she announced “funny you should mention THIS story Jack!” before biting his tail, causing him to leap five-feet up into the air. “Looks like you could of made it back WITHOUT my help!”


Morning Ritual



The morning ritual commenced. Evan brushed his teeth, showered, ate a bowl of cereal, put on some clothes, and began driving to work. Along the way, he stopped by Dunkin’ Donuts, left the engine on idle, bought some coffee, and then continued his commute. Such was the routine that he had grown so accustomed to that an autopilot would be out of a job. Upon arriving on site however, two undercover officers rushed out of a vehicle and pointed their guns at him. “Put your hands up and slowly get out of the car!” they yelled. Evan, whose coffee just ran cold, blinked several times before realizing that he had driven the wrong automobile to work.


The Constable


night beach ferris

The constable held a long gaze at the wall-mounted clock. Counting down the seconds, the officer waited in great anticipation for the minute-hand to strike 12, thus ending his 5:00-clock shift and the start of his month-long vacation. The second-hand took its sweet time during which he imagined the orangey glows of sunset beaches, beautiful women strolling down a boardwalk, and the neon lights of a city that never slept. By the time his dreams of revelry had released their grasp, it was 7:00 pm and he had missed the last bus home.


Nine Lives


black cat 1

Nelly, the cat with nine lives, danced circles around Death. He had escaped all sorts of trouble from flying pianos, driver-less cars, lightning strikes, tall trees, quicksand, “friendly” dogs, large soles, curious kids, etc. Confident in his good luck, Nelly went up to the Grim Reaper, purred, and rubbed up against its feet. The Reaper picked him up and sighed. “Another black cat… Could bring bad luck and more paperwork. Lets have you reincarnated soon.”